I’m thinking that I should invest more in the dynamic between Thomas and his mother, especially in the beginning of the book, during the revision process. As a mother I already know how I react when I’ve lost my child for a second – or five.
Somehow I’m feeling that Celeste keeps her distance, or respects Thomas’ space maybe, too quickly in the plot line. I mean she lost her babies and what, five years later they show back up on Earth as young adults? The only reason she knows for sure is due to a psychic link. Yeah…. the dynamic there needs to be stronger and more difficult for them both.
Plus there’s the apple orchard she is living at that the reader is only told about during the info dump. It would be better for the reader to see the place and learn the history of it that way. Maybe only hint at the true cause of the fire rather than point a direct finger? I supposed it depends on how critical that piece of truth is to the main story line. There is a lot about Lynnette’s past that I dumped in the vomit draft that I’m not even sure if the reader needs to know at this point.
I’m glad I wrote it because honestly, out of all the characters in my short story series, she was the least developed. Ultimately everything she did was because she was “crazy” old lady mad for power as far as any of the other characters could tell. Which frankly is stupid. It also added another dimension to Peccant in the process too, and I’ll never complain about that.
The biggest thing I think that I need for the readers to understand is why Celeste and Lynnette are estranged to begin with and how that ties in with the main plot of the book. But I don’t want to be giving it all in one great big chunk of info just before the climax when by all rights things should be ramping up.
Theoretically I could also have the master/slave fate chains play another layer of dynamic in all this as well. It may be that Celeste can’t sense either of them as long as those chains are in place, but once broken and they’re free she can? How does that change things for the story, if at all? Would the readers need to know about it? Well I think the only way to convey that would be to rework the ending a bit, but we’ll see.